


Bittersweet

by orphan_account



Series: Angel Baby [6]
Category: Late Night Host RPF
Genre: Apologies, Confessions, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Open Marriage, Open Relationships, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-24 23:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2600261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth finally comes out when Jimmy confesses to Nancy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“How was Seth?”

Jimmy shrugs and walks over to the fridge. When he doesn’t answer, Nancy hands Winnie off to the nighttime nanny so they can have some privacy.

“Jimmy.”

“What?”

He grabs a beer and sits down on the barstool by the kitchen island.

“How was Seth?”

“He seemed fine to me. He was asleep the whole time I was there.”

Nancy frowns.

“You were there for an hour.”

Jimmy takes a drink, but doesn’t answer. Something that’s not guilt, _not guilt_ , is coiling in his stomach. He licks his lips nervously.

“What did you do, Jimmy?” Nancy presses.

She’s so calm. Her words are meant to get information out of him, but he is still soothed by her care and concern.

“Kissed him. While he was asleep.”

Nancy frowns.

“Anything else?”

Jimmy takes another drink.

_Why bother stalling?_

“Jimmy,” she says, forcefully this time.

He can’t look her in the eyes.

“I sucked him off.”

Nancy sighs.

“I thought as much.”

She stands and grabs a sheet of paper towel off the counter and wets it in the sink. She comes back to him. He raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“Why…?”

“You’ve got come on the side of your neck.”

Jimmy’s eyes widen.

“What!? I was so careful.”

Once his neck is clean, she uses a clean corner of the towel to wipe off the remaining traces of lipstick.

“You’ve gotten sloppy. And you smell like Chanel Number 5.”

Jimmy gulps.

“I’m so sor—”

Nancy holds up a hand.

“Look, I know what we agreed on. And I’m still fine with that. But now you’re getting reckless, and someone’s going to get hurt. I won’t allow that someone to be me or your daughter. Seth is grown man and can take care of himself, but this behavior is completely unacceptable.”

Jimmy can’t meet her eyes anymore. He knows she's right, even if he hates to admit it.

“What have you done to that poor man, Jimmy? Besides today. Did he even know you were going to come over?”

Jimmy shakes his head.

“He didn’t know I was coming over. I snuck in the back door.”

“Did he know you were going to touch him in his sleep?”

“No,” Jimmy says after a pregnant pause.

Nancy sighs again, wearily.

“Jimmy…”

“I know what you’re going to say, so don’t say it. I know it’s wrong. I know I shouldn't have done what I did. But every time I see him, I want to do all the things I shouldn't do.”

He looks up at Nancy with tears in his eyes.

_You have no right to be crying. You knew exactly what you were doing, you sick fuck._

Nancy throws the dirty towel away and hugs her husband.

_I don’t deserve this. I never did, and I never will._

He cries into her blouse and wonders what the hell he’s supposed to do.


	2. Chapter 2

When he’s composed himself enough, Jimmy throws on a hoodie and takes to the street. He picks a direction he doesn’t normally take and walks with no destination in mind.

“Why did I do it? Why, why, why?” Jimmy asks himself through gritted teeth.

He has no idea where he is, and he honestly doesn’t even care.

_It started out as a game. That was all it was supposed to be. Drinking, kissing, maybe something more…_

“You took it too far. You knew it was wrong, and you did it anyway.”

_Admit what you did. Out loud. To yourself._

“I can’t.”

He feels dizzy and puts his hand out to grab something that will support him. He finds himself gripping a wrought iron fence that surrounds an empty park. It’s he would expect for a late afternoon in early November. He finds himself opening the gate and gravitating over to the big swings. He sits down and pushes off with his feet. There is a grating noise of metal on metal, like some otherworldly creature screaming at him.

He pushes off again and the noise repeats. He keeps swinging. He valiantly tries to block out the din, but it’s too cold and the swing is too rusty and battered to handle Jimmy swinging. When he finally comes to a stop, he finds himself crying again, all alone in this chilly park where the wind and old metal are playing cruel tricks on his psyche.

_Kind of how you played cruel tricks on Seth…_

“I know, I know.”

 _Admit what you did,_ his brain demands.

“I—”

_Admit it._

“I r—”

_Say it! Out loud!_

“I raped Seth Meyers,” he blubbers into his palms. “I raped him.”

There is a mighty wind just then and the other swings move of their own accord, screeching, sighing, screaming in a deafening cacophony.

Before he loses his nerve, Jimmy pulls out his phone and scrolls through his contacts.

Jimmy tenses while it rings in his ear. Leaves blow about his ankles while he listens to the ringing.

He gets the voicemail.

Jimmy swallows through a lump in his throat and proceeds to leave the most difficult message he’s ever had to leave:

“Seth?” His voice cracks. “It’s me. Jimmy…”


	3. Chapter 3

**“Seth?” His voice cracks. “It’s me. Jimmy…”**

The words echo through Seth’s head. He swallows hard as he listens to the message for the fifth time in a row.

**”There’s nothing I can do, is there, that will fix this? That will fix what I did to you?**

_No. There’s not._

**"I’m sitting here on a park swing in the middle of November, trying to think of something to say to you that won’t—won’t make things worse. God…**

There’s a hiccup or sob in the middle of his sentence. Seth can’t quite make out what he's saying.

**I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I just wish there was something…Some way I could prove—prove that I can make things right.**

There’s a long pause punctuated only by sobs. Seth listens on with cold determination, patiently waiting for Jimmy to finish his confession.

**I love you, Seth. And I ruined everything.**

Another short silence. The wind howls in the background.

**You won’t have to be afraid of me anymore. I’m—I’m going to take care of things. Good-bye, Seth Meyers.”**

The message ends, and Seth puts down his phone. He taps his finger against his tabletop as he weighs his options. It’s been half an hour since Jimmy left him the message. The only question now is if he should stop him or not.

He picks up his phone again and dials.

_Now or never._


End file.
